Your ‘patterns’ and your ‘obsessive thinking’ about life events, worrying about them and staying gripped by those thoughts-emotions-actions as if on ‘a repeat cycle’ is evidence that there is something deeper at play than just your mind or will-power.
Whether you are trying to give up an addiction or are in a constant state of thinking about a relationship or of an emotional ‘wrong’ done to you – understand that it is no longer in the purview of ‘will-power.’ You cannot address it by wanting it strongly and even carrying out actions for a few months. But then those actions grinding to a halt and you not getting out those patterns and addictive behaviours.
This is normal behaviour – but we hate it and ourselves for it – and once you understand why this is happening and allow it – your energy will drop these behaviours for you.
It is important to recognize that the cycle of trying, not succeeding, the ‘obsessive thoughts,’ emotions of shame, regret, failing, hurt, being wronged, feeling the injustice of the situation – all these form a heady cocktail that literally cause those regions in your brain to remain activated, which, in turn, promote these exact feelings. On repeat. And in doing so – your blood composition changes to circulate more stress hormone cortisol, which keeps you on edge even more. You are in a constant hair-pin-triggered state emotionally and will end up with actual physical symptoms of this – panic attacks, digestive issues, aches and pains amongst others – unless you work towards understanding the mechanism of this pattern.
Simply put – when I think thoughts, or feel emotions or carry out actions that say “I have been so hurt by her, how could she? Why can’t she see what it is doing to me?
I failed at work or the class. Why did I eat that piece of cake? But she is my mom, how can she treat me like this?” – these exact thoughts set off the activation of your brain neurochemistry that circulate more cortisol and adrenalin in your blood and they also set off more such thoughts – “I can never do anything right. I can’t do this. I am a failure. I am not good enough. I won’t find anyone else. Maybe I am not lovable. I won’t be able to live. He wronged me. I’m in pain. I’m so confused. I failed myself and my family. I should have not eaten that. How can I make her understand?” and on and on and on. These thoughts are fast and furious – and these are the ones that keep the activity of this part of your brain that triggers more of these same emotions-actions-thoughts in hyper-active mode. It is a never-ending cycle and your will cannot compete with the neurochemistry of your brain and blood.
It is not built to.
When you realize this fact – that the chemistry of your body has become altered – you then need to solve your ‘patterns and obsessive thoughts’ differently.
A deliberate effort is now required to bring your blood composition back to a balanced state – where you are not in an intense fight, flight, freeze, faint mode – with excess stress and hopped up on neurotransmitters that respond to this state by producing more cortisol and more chemicals that make you vulnerable and overwhelmed.
Here – you make the connection – IT IS NOT YOU THAT HAS FAILED. It is this way of your brain functioning – to protect you from harm – but in turn – it has ended up harming you – as thoughts and emotions and feelings are the stimuli for the brain’s chemical reactions too – and that is what I am feeding it! A heady cocktail of emotions and thoughts and actions – every second. Being so immersed in my way of thinking – that I do not realize that it is the very thing that is causing more of it. The more I think, the more I create that imbalance in my brain.
Now you know.
So, now what can I do to alter my brain from activating the stress systems that keep me stuck in my patterns and addictions?
1. Getting out of the habit or pattern of stress-thinking – deliberately and forcefully. A hard stop. No more talking or thinking about it. No triggering the system.
2. Understanding clearly that stopping alters and restores your blood balance and your body’s balance.
3. It is not a personal failure. It is not knowing the processes that control your thinking and assist in harnessing your true power.
4. Activate different regions in your brain – by distraction – by going out with friends, family, hobbies, dancing, singing, painting, retreats etc.
5. Recognizing the ‘Error Code” in your programming that made you stuck in this pattern of thinking you are not enough – was also the fuel that kept you stuck.
6. Negativity is not permanent – recognizing that many years of these negative thoughts/emotions/behaviours and patterns have caused you to become stuck in this loop – but it can be changed by you – when you decide.
7. Instil ‘Inversion Thinking’ – when the thoughts ‘I am not enough, I can’t do it, I need it’ come up – you instantly Inverse that thought to “I am so enough and I am getting there, I am good without it!”
8. Recognize that positivity and optimism about life is not inborn or a natural trait you possess – it is a learned behaviour. A choice you make of inverting your worrying thought-emotions-action – just like in point number 6.
9. Make the fiercest decision of your life TODAY – TO FOLLOW THESE STEPS EVERY SINGLE DAY – LIKE A PRAYER. LIKE A RITUAL. LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER COMMITTED TO ANYTHING BEFORE – COMMIT TO YOURSELF. YOU DESERVE YOUR BEST. IT IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER. DON’T MISS IT FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF COCKTAILS.
10. Exercise daily. By exercising you will stimulate that part of your brain that will release chemicals that neutralize the excess stress hormones and subside this cycle and restore brain and blood balance.
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
END OF ARTICLE