After assembly poll results, politicians compete to become opposition Neta No 1. A conversation that wasn’t

Mamata Banerjee: Narendra Modi taunted me with “Didi oh Didi”, I turned it around to Didigiri-oh-Didigiri. After my stunning third win, I’m clearly most suitable as unquestioned leader of a united opposition. Anyone else for Khela Hobe?

Sonia Gandhi: But I already have a suitable boy at home. When will you all recognise him as the true heir apparent? He’s been waiting for so long.

Rahul Gandhi: But mother, do I really have to go through all this? Isn’t it enough that I regularly put out strong  statements on Twitter? Besides, power is poison.

Sharad Pawar: No no, power is Pawar. Give me a chance and I’ll conquer all land from Maharashtra to Delhi. I know every inch of the real estate that matters.

MK Stalin: Land? My dear Pawar, aren’t you forgetting about the rising clout of southern lands? Since my name is Stalin I’m most qualified to build an all powerful super-state.

Pinarayi Vijayan: Talking of states, this is the time for the States to lead India. What Kerala thinks today, India thinks tomorrow. Importantly, the Left line is out and Vijayan Line is in.

Naveen Patnaik: Ladies and gentlemen, please don’t practise social distancing and forget Odisha. I’m not a great one for these crowded opposition rallies, but do consider: Can any among you write masterworks on plant life in India as well as tackle super cyclones?

Mulayam Singh Yadav: Humko kyon bhool gaye, bhaisaheb? Abhi toh hum jawan hai. After all Indian politics is an akhara in which you need a wrestler like me.

Mayawati: Mulayam Singhji, you’re not alone. Is there any other leader who has built life-size statues of herself the way I have? Narendra Modi stadium vs Mayawati statues will be a true contest.

Arvind Kejriwal: Delhi is no longer struggling with medical oxygen showing that when it comes to political oxygen, I’m not like other netas. As the original political startup there can be no debate whatsoever about my USP as CM who gets maximum eyeballs: Baaki sab neta chor hai.

Aam Admi: First we had kaun banega pradhan mantri, then kaun banega mukhya mantri, now we have kaun banega challenger? Politics later, can we first get oxygen and an ICU bed please?



This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.


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