Guess who didn’t come to dinner, and they didn’t even call

Covid-19 has totally ruined their social lives. Known as the gatecrasher couple they had worked their presence into an art form. They would fetch up at all the A plus functions uninvited and no one would call them on it. Either that or they would call on the day and say they had just come back to town or the invitation obviously got lost ha ha but we will be there. The wife added an extra dimension by promising to help and bring starters or dessert or send flowers and you cannot really say sorry, we didn’t invite you when there are 24 yellow roses at your door.

Of course everyone would giggle behind their backs and make rude remarks about their blatant social climbing and how thick-skinned they were and then one day they did not come to a dinner given by one of those wannabes in the B plus social category and somebody said, look even the gatecrashers haven’t bothered to come.

And then and there a legend was born. Overnight they gained celebrity status and established themselves as the watermark and measure of everyone’s social worth. Society matrons would writhe in agony waiting for them to gatecrash because if they did not fetch up then their social standing was downgraded.

There was an unspoken rule that you could not invite them and this esoteric circle of the rich and famous were held in thrall.

Think of it. There you are at half past nine, fifty guests milling around, craning your neck towards the door, fingers crossed, where are they? And people smiling knowingly, drinking your booze and eating your food but exchanging glances, migoodness, the GEECEE’s haven’t come, what’s going on.

What do the gatecrashers know that we don’t about why the hosts have fallen from grace? Has he lost his job, there was a rumour to that effect. Perhaps he is in debt, running on empty some of these millionaires, all show and no substance. Could be the CBI is after them, something stinks.

The evening ends up with the husband and wife sitting amongst the debris of their party moaning the fact the couple didn’t gatecrash, they didn’t even call. The stress of it all would be comical if it wasn’t so tragic seeing as how success depended on someone fetching up because they had not been invited.

And then came Covid and the party circuit turned dry and dusty and they have lost their traction beaten by the virus. But it was great fun while it lasted and they would have gone on and on if only Zoom was the same thing. You can gatecrash but it hasn’t got the same texture.



This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.


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