GTA5

Kamalamma writes a letter to Spice Jet wedding couple

Dear Rakesh and Dakshina (newspaper reports say that is your name)

Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu, Karnataka.

Now you will ask each other who is this amma and whether she is related to boy’s side or girl’s side.

I am one housewife who is opening newspaper today morning and reading about your marriage, which is happening up in the air and which is going viral down on the earth. So I am writing to tell you, whatever other people are saying, Kamalamma, is fully supporting you two. 

So much noise, so many rubbish comments, all for one wedding. Abbabba! What is the problem of our public? They are not having any other topic to troll or what! There are so many restrictions on the ground – curfew, lockdown, no gatherings, no functions, wear mask, keep distance …, all for some stupid virus which cannot be seen even! And it is not even getting over. People have to get married, or no? All good muhurtham is getting over since last 2 years, waiting for 1st wave and 2nd wave and all to get over. But still more waves are coming like in our Malpe beach at high tide. So, what to do? You two are simply hiring one Spice Jet plane and finishing all rituals up of ground. 

Like that asura Hiranyakashipu cannot be destroyed inside home or outside, on earth or in heaven, so our Lord Narasimha is going for Plan B, like that you two are also going for Plan on the plane! Kamalamma is too much liking this idea. If I am elected as President of Mahila Mandali, Kunnjibettu branch, first thing on my agenda will be to invite you and felicitate you with one shawl and bouquet. We are having only that much budget, I think!

Okay, so you are taking 100 guests up in the plane. So what? Down on the ground it seems 50 people are allowed anyway, so up of ground it is coming same to same. Some big scientist like Newton or somebody is saying in our Physics text book that when a body is moving upwards, weight is becoming less, so 100 people up is equal to 50 people down. 

Then they are saying you people are not wearing mask or keeping distance. Aiyyo, how to wear mask in plane and why to wear even? If anything is happening, there is oxygen supply above every seat and it will automatically open and land directly on your nose. Flight attendant is announcing this, before every take-off. But anybody is listening to these safety announcements?  No, all are busy trying to order whiskey and soda before tying seat belt even. 

And it seems now they are booking case against your pilot who is parking plane in the air, up of Madurai temple at correct muhurtham, for you to tie marriage thali and all. Tchah! What rubbish is this? Actually, they should introduce special training to all pilots to identify marriage halls from up, with correct latitude and longitude, for future functions. And also keep one panchanga in the pilot’s cabin, so he will not miss the auspicious timing. 

If I am to tell the truth, I think all people are jealous, because their wedding is happening simply, on the ground. Tchah… what is the fun? Only one priest, one photographer, one videographer and 1000 guests who are mostly coming only for wedding feast. Because anyway, nobody can see function with that photographer who is standing on the stage with his equipment and blocking full view. 

Aiyyo, what to tell you … during the Mister’s and my wedding, our photographer is doing so much good job, he is asking even priest to move aside, so that he can take nice photo. Then, I am quickly putting garland around the Mister’s neck; before photographer is pushing him out of his own marriage mantapa because he is in the way. Abbabba!

That is why I am happy when I am seeing camera man in your marriage pics in newspaper. At least, after you are coming down and spending your honeymoon maybe in jail or in isolation centre, at least you can pass the time by seeing your own wedding album and video. 

Wishing the new viral couple happy and healthy married life,

Your well-wisher, 

Kamalamma. 



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Disclaimer

Views expressed above are the author’s own.



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